Windows XP themes: I’ll take Nunavut

I hate Windows XP’s appearances. They offer two basic appearances: Windows 2000-like, in any color you want (with many stupid restrictions in how shading is done), or Windows XP-like, in blue, silver or bile.

Today I noticed for the first time an option in XP for downloading themes online. I pretty much know what to expect of this, but click it anyway.

And, actually, Microsoft failed to meet even my modest expectations as my browser displays a 404 error. Oh, sure, it’s a complicated one that disguises its true identity (Microsoft’s gone to great lengths on that front), but it still isn’t what I asked for.

Anyway, a few clicks later and I’m looking at a list of XP themes.

Title Release Date Popularity
Nile Theme
An Egypt Nile desktop theme with new wallpaper, animated cursors, new icons, new 4
6/8/2006 #118
Microsoft Windows Theme Nunavut
Customize your desktop with Microsoft Windows Theme Nunavut
6/28/2006 #244
NZ Bliss Desktop Backgrounds for Windows
Free uniquely New Zealand desktop backgrounds & wallpaper.
1/28/2007 #279
Microsoft Windows Theme Ontario
Customize your desktop with Microsoft Windows Theme Ontario
6/28/2006 #294
Microsoft Experience Pack for Tablet PC
Six fun and useful programs made just for the Tablet PC.
4/4/2005 #434
Ree Ree Khao Sarn
Decorate your desktop with “Ree Ree Khao Sarn” desktop theme including wallpaper, screensaver, icons.
1/22/2006 #669
San Fermín theme
Be part of the San Fermín festivity with this hilarious desktop theme for Windows XP
7/11/2005 #731
Images of Ireland
This is a desktop theme for Windows XP Home and Professional Editions. It includes a desktop wallpaper and a screensaver depicting images from around the island of Ireland.
3/9/2005 #768
Microsoft Brazilian Beaches
Have the wonderful beach landscape in your computer
2/7/2006 #846
ChristmasTheme 2004
A Christmas desktop theme with new wallpaper, animated cursors, new icons, new sounds, and a 3D screensaver.
12/15/2004 #1145
XP Theme Support Add In
This is the supporting code sample for the article “Creating a Visual Studio .NET Add-In to Provide Windows XP Theme Support” published on MSDN by Duncan Mackenzie.
7/19/2002 #1387
Microsoft 4 Patas
Do you love dogs? Don’t miss this theme!
1/3/2006 #1607
Portuguese Discoveries Theme
Windows Theme entirely dedicated to the Portuguese Discoveries, developed specifically for Portugal and the Portuguese speaking communities in the world.
1/10/2005 #2592

I can only imagine at some point, something like this came up: “Windows looks awesome by default, and is so highly configurable! We should find a few ways to, you know, really show it off!”

I’m trying not to use foul language on this blog, so you’ll have to imagine a storm of profanity here. Instead, I’ll leave you with this thought: this is the best they could come up with. No, seriously, a multi-billion dollar company, and this is the best they could come up with for their then-flagship product.

You all suck! You need to be deported to a country without electricity.

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